A Family's Inheritance

by Jesse Rivera

The room was cold and quiet. Silence gave way to the hums and beeps of medical equipment keeping my dad alive. I sat with him every weekend for almost three months last year. Needless to say, I had a lot of time to think, and that’s what I did. I thought about my dad, and the way he raised me and my sister. I thought about the way he treated my mom. I thought about our family, the good and the bad.

Then, all my thoughts turned to questions. Like, what does it mean to be a man, a good man? What does it mean to be a good husband? What does a good father look like? A part of me on the inside answered almost immediately with “I don’t know.” Sure, I’ve learned some things along the way, but if the answers to those questions were based on the example that I was shown then there may be cause for concern.

Now, I want to be careful here. I wouldn’t want you thinking this is some sort of “woe is me” post or a promotion of the idea that “all my problems can be traced back to childhood.” Looking back may help us understand why we tend towards certain decisions, but reasons and motivations do not eliminate personal responsibility. We are accountable for our actions. I would also like to avoid parents assuming undue guilt or responsibility for their children’s decisions. As a parent, I quickly learned that my kids didn’t quite think like me and would often choose what I would not despite my many good reasons. Lastly, I would like to point out that I have a fairly good relationship with my father and understand, as I pray my kids will one day as well, that he was a broken man doing the best that he could.

With that said, I’ve been thinking about the inheritance we leave to our kids. Typically, we associate inheritance as something passed down after death, but I would say part of it is given much sooner. When I left my home, there was a certain death to the roles my parents played in my life. I was out on my own and could now make decisions that previously required permission. To some degree, their time was over, and whatever they had given, whatever was taught, that’s what I took with me.  

By now, it’s probably clear that by inheritance I am not referring primarily to tangible things. Money is great and opportunities are fine, but neither last. What does last? What could they use? They certainly could use wisdom. Godly character would take them far. But why take so much time to contemplate all this? Why does it matter? Proverbs 13:22 says, “A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children.” God’s work always involves the generations to come.

Jesus exemplifies this perfectly. Part of His mission is to prepare the disciples. Jesus collects his band of brothers through an invitation, “Come and see.” He teaches. He serves. He lives humbly by continually seeking the counsel of His Father in heaven. He rebukes when necessary. He labors at his own personal cost. He loves. And out of this love, He prepares them for his departure. As if his sacrifice on the cross was not enough, he can be found even now at His Father’s side making intercession on our behalf. What a glorious inheritance he leaves to his disciples. This inheritance is for us as well. What I am saying is an invitation into God’s family is not meant to be a passive experience. We’re meant to receive this priceless inheritance from Jesus and demonstrate it anew in our generation.

In light of all this, I think there are some questions worth asking ourselves. Who has God entrusted me with to pass along this inheritance? What can I offer them? In what ways can I prepare them for the future? Conversely, who has God given me as a spiritual father or mother? Who has God placed as an authority in my life and why? What is it that I can learn from them that will ready me for what comes next?

“One generation shall praise Your works to another, and shall declare Your mighty acts.” (Psalm 145:4)